Sunday, April 17, 2011

Week in Review: April 11th (and a blogging break FAILapotamus)

In case you didn't notice, on Saturday I decided to take my first day off of blogging since I started back in mid-December. For someone who struggles with massive OCD issues, this was a Big Deal. I thought long and hard about taking a break. I worried that by not posting, I'd communicate the message that I wasn't passionate about blogging. I struggled with concerns that missing a day would cause my followers to leave and ZOMG WHAT WOULD I DO THEN, I'D BE A FAILURE AND A SHAM AND HUMILIATED.

And, to be perfectly honest, just the thought of missing a day of blogging made me feel off-kilter and twitchy. I like routine, and schedules, and predictability. When something doesn't go as planned I am not the type of girl to shrug her shoulders in a cute, nonchalant way, and move on as if nothing had changed. No. I am a quivering anxious mess AND a snappish whiny douchecanoe whom NO ONE can stand to be around. 

Basically, if my plans change, or I whimsically decide to "mix things up" and try something new everything becomes magnified in respect to how I feel about it. So let's say yesterday I decided to invite a couple of blogger friends (we'll call them Tina of T Minus, T Plus and Erin of Work With What You've Got) over for dinner but had no idea what to make and the husband suggested we grill chicken and veggie kebabs which we've never made before and what if we screw them up and serve tasteless dried-up food and I will die, like literally DIE if this doesn't go off perfectly and BY THE WAY HAVE I MENTIONED THAT I TOOK THE DAY OFF FROM BLOGGING? So I became increasingly whiny and overwhelmed and twitchy and gave myself heartburn (which trying new things leads to because, apparently, I'm eighty.) This led me to make the not-at-all rational decision to
guzzle whiskey (which I ONLY use for  medicinal purposes, don't look at me like that) to numb my anxiety. And I got a bit tipsy. And of course dinner turned out pretty well, and everyone had a great time, and I was left leafing through the phone book looking for a support group.

Le sigh.

This morning I emerged from my little cocoon of anxiety and everything is fine. Yes, I will never be one of those girls who float through life effortlessly, burp Lisa Frank rainbows and leave a trail of glitter wherever she goes. I'm trying to be healthier, and set boundaries, and give myself a break. Which are all things one needs to do in order to be considered a functional adult. Amirite?

So from now on, I'm taking Saturdays off from blogging. There, I said it. For realsies. I hope y'all will understand. And this post is probably the most insane thing I've ever written because it is all BLAH BLAH ANXIETY BLAH STRESSY TIME BLAH BLAH I WILL DIE BLAH BLAH BLAH WHISKEY BLAH POOR LITTLE OLD ME.

And really, no one needs to hear that.

Here's what went down on Dress With Courage this week:

I'd also like to take a moment and welcome all my new followers.

Thank you for your continued support and thoughtful comments. Y'all are like totally awesomesauce and I hope you stick around. There's a lot more hot mess (with the occasional burst of intelligent, through-provoking posts) where this came from.

If you're visiting my blog for the first time, consider becoming a follower through Google Friend Connect, tweeting with me on Twitter, or becoming a Facebook fan. It would be like a massive virtual ((((group hug)))).

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